End of Life Support

Support for a gentle death requires preparation

End of Life Counseling provides deep support and guidance for those who are dying so they may experience a gentle death. For family and friends, after the passing of a loved one it, working with a death doula provides an opportunity to release the trauma and pain of loss and grief as well as guidance for the days to come.

Each persons needs and situation are different. Through this work, I offer individualized support to meet the needs specific to your situation. This can include palliative care assessment and logistical support, managing a support team before, during and after death, and having a hand to hold as you and your family navigate this transition time.

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What kind of support you can expect

Assessing palliative care needs and options going forward
5 Wishes Living Will, covering your personal, emotional and spiritual needs as well as your ongoing medical wishes
Building a support team of community, friends, and family
Helping you get clear on what it is you need to say
Addressing fears about dying
Navigating help and planning arrangements for the burial
Organization and support setting up a group goodbye scenario for family and friends
Recommendations on how to make the person who is dying most comfortable
Continued support before, during, and after death

Kate's Experience

Ric was a dear friend, photographer, thyroid cancer patient, navigating hospice, involved with the Living Well and Dying Well in America movement. In 2011, as he began facing his end of life strategy, he put a call out to his community asking for anyone interested to apply to help him take a train ride, an end of life wish he had. Ric wanted to take a train ride through New England with his wife and help from a friend, to see the beauty of the place he lived and loved.

Previous to this experience, I was not familiar with the idea of having a project manager to help execute these kind of end of life wishes. The day I heard from Ric that he had accepted my proposal, we started to put together a plan to meet all his needs and expectations for the trip he envisioned.

When the day of our trip arrived, I drove him and his wife to Boston South Station and after a 30 min respite in the station we all boarded the train to Scituate. During our trip he took many photos out the train window. When we arrived, my sister picked us up and we enjoyed a delicious meal at a local restaurant looking over the water. The whole adventure was magic, and it brought alive in me a love of facilitating and being in service to those who are in the death and dying process.

From that time on I continued to help Ric and his wife as a part of a group of friends who offered support and management through his death and continued support to his wife in the ongoing years. Ric’s “to do list" was long. We often went to his favorite places to take photos with magnificent flower gardens. Getting to support him during this time deepened and enriched our friendship. I got to see first hand how much impact it has when a person, outside of your family, helps you and them navigate the changing landscape of death.

Initially, when Ric was diagnosed, he invited a group of friends and family to his home to gather and share food. The first time we got together most of us were complete strangers. Now, in the succeeding years, we are all still connected and continue to gather with Ric's wife for brunch to share food and savor the memories, as we did that first time with Ric.

I am not sure it is possible to be fully prepared for your own passing or the death of a loved one. Ric knew a gentle death was possible and that having support helps to get you to your next journey. Being with him during that time inspired in me and clarified the importance of community and the impact it has on having a gentle death and dying with dignity.

Death and grief are as unique as the individual who is experiencing it, the same is true for family and friends. I am so grateful for the people I get to stand with and help as they face the loss and grief of death and the dying process.

Kate Zehnter M.Ed

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Client Testimonials

"In October of 2019 you gave my Mom, who was dying , a "distant" Reiki treatment. You also gave me a treatment. I am so sorry I have not reached out to you sooner. My Mom did, thank goodness, have a peaceful death surrounded but her loved ones at home. Thank you so much Kate."

MM / MA

“I didn’t go looking for the subject of death and dying it found me. That’s how it happens to all of us I think. My mothers stroke lead to a diagnosis of terminal lung disease. She got her speech and movement back but we all lost the illusion that life is forever.

The bravest thing I ever did was to ask her how she wanted to live with the knowledge that her life was now in the countdown mode. I committed that I would defend her choices and if necessary push the rest of the world to respect them. Together we chose to be open… To discuss with family and friends that she was dying. Her mantra became “I am not afraid of dying; I just don’t want to go to soon.” The next 22 months were some of the hardest and most exhilarating of my life. The grief was enormous; the physical and emotional strain ever-present. we made decisions together those were the best years of our relationship, as odd as that surely sounds.

During this time I met Rick also spoke openly about death and dying. Our mutual interest in the topic expanded into a warm and wonderful friendship with he and his wife Diane. As ricks illness progressed, the sense of urgency to push for a gentler way of dying grew exponentially. TeamRicky was born and continues to this day: just a bunch of people loved Ric and are brave enough to talk out loud about death and dying. Nice people. All smart people. No celebrities or billionaires. Just a bunch of folks who think that Dianne can provide surprising opportunities to live more fully.”

PN / Artisan Jeweler / Rye NH

Long time advocate and supporter of Death with Dignity and the 5 Wishes Living Will program, supporting those in need to age with dignity.